is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you had me at cake vodka
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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