No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
