Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
