she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
