I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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