remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You work out of a Hotel?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
