After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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