Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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