Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think a kid would responsible me up
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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