so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
