awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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