Can i not drive my cunt home
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
