Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
