The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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