Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
