Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
