dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
