meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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