If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
