at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
