Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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