There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The uberlube is also flammable
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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