So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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