I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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