she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
