i was born a porn star she said
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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