so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
