so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
