Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
