Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
