there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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