Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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