why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
