I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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