just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
