weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Fuck appropriateness.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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