Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize