so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize