okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
