biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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