I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
