why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
