So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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