I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
