Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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