Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
