My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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