Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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