Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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