I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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