Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
my poor anus
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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