I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
