I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
