I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
jump out the window naked night went bad
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