woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
