Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
