just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Are we still banned from the library?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize