u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
