Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
